Dancing Is For Girls
by Pururu
Summary: After one of his drunken nights. Randy accidently signs his son to ballet lessons. Will he do them? will the other boys find out? Or will Stan have to save the performance of the night. Contains swearing and lots of embarrassment.Chapter 2 is up. YAY!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, fans of south park and people that are bored. ****I'm**** Fiddlesticks311 and I bring to you a NEW story straight off the press.**

**This story came to my mind a long time ago, though I never got round to typing it. The ideas going through my head, making this story more planned and less improvised ever!**

**Enough of my talking, lets get on with the story! Enjoy!**

Every Friday night, Randy and his friends would all meet up at the pub, have a few drinks and have fun. But sometimes, they drink a little too much and make havoc in town. No matte how many times they were caught by the police, no matter how many times there wives would brag how drinking is wrong and how they should spend more time with their families. But do they listen, I think not. Sadly, this was one of those nights.

It started off like any other Friday night; the men would all come home from work, have dinner with their families and then head down to the pub. The first one to enter the pub was none other than Randy Marsh. He knew he had a drinking problem, like when he fought the Bat-dad at the south park little league game finals and the time when he got caught drink-driving and had to attend alcoholic meetings, where he was taught that he was powerless over his drinking problem. Thankfully, his son, Stan, managed to teach him not to drink too much. It did help, he doesn't drink as much as he usually does, but he needs to try harder. So, he has improved a little bit over the months.

So anyway, Randy was the first to enter the pub. The pub was a very popular meeting place for men when they wanted to get away from the real world and hang out. Randy sat on the bar stool at the main counter. The bartender was busy tending to some other customers; he was a plump guy, with a blond goatee and wearing a white shirt and blue jeans. His apron had the south park cows' mascot on it, he was a big supporter of the football team and he went to their every match.

"So Randy, what will it be tonight," He asked as he cleaned a glass.

"The usual please," Randy replied. The bartender went and got a glass from under the table. He went over and filled the glass with cold beer. He then gave the drink to Randy.

The second person who entered the pub, was Gerald

"Hey Randy," called out Gerald walking into the pub. He pulled up a high chair from one of the table and sat next to his pal.

"Hey Gerald," he replied back, "How was work today?"

"Oh the usual," Gerald said," hey Bartender, one beer please," The bartender began to fill up another glass.

More people entered the pub and the group got bigger and drunker.

Two hours pass and everyone is very drunk, most were talking complete gibberish and stumbling all over the place. Gerald was sharing a joke with a few old people sitting next to the window. While Jimbo and Ned were playing a card game with a crowd of young people. Jimbo was winning the game. Randy was watching a football game on the T.V in the corner.

"Well, I think its time that I'd be heading home, it's nearly midnight" Randy said standing up, he wobbled a bit.

"Nonsense," Jimbo replied," We were just about to go into town, would you like to join us?" Everyone was edging Randy to join them. In the end, he gave in.

"O.K then, I'll come into town with you," Randy said, they all cheered.

The next day, Randy woke up lying on the couch. There were empty cans everywhere and the couch and floor was sticky. He was wearing just his underpants and he smelled of fish.

"Uh," he groaned. He got up and looked at the clock, it was twenty to seven. He couldn't remember what had happened the night before. He glanced at the mess of the room. He gasped

"Oh crap, I got to get this place clean," He said," Thank god its Saturday so everyone will still be sleeping," He then got started to clean up. He then went for a shower and got dressed.

A few more hours later, everyone else was up having breakfast. Sharon was cooking some sausages and Stan and Shelly were sitting at the table eating cereal. Randy entered the kitchen after being in the bedroom. Sharon looked up and saw him, she sighed.

"When did you get back from the pub?" Sharon asked him, she knew it was probably late at night.

"Oh, about eleven at night," Randy lied, "I slept on the couch, didn't want to wake you up." He kissed her on the cheek. Shelly muttered something under her breath, something you didn't want to know.

"I'm done," Stan said, he got up from the table and went out the door

"Where're you going?" Randy asked, he was hugging Sharon.

"I'm going to Starks pond with the guys to skate," he replied, he then left the kitchen and out the front door.

"O.K then, have fun," Sharon said.

At the pond, there were only the four boys at the area. Stan, Kyle and Kenny skated together talking about the Terrance and Phillip episode that was on last night. While Cartman was skating round them, showing off like he usually does.

"Oh man, you guys. I'm probably the best skater in the whole world," Cartman said, as he skated past Kyle, Stan and Kenny, covering them with tiny shards of ice. Kyle brushed off his legs.

"No, you're the fattest skater in the world," Kyle said. They all giggled,

"Eh, you're just jealous you can't perform the perfect spin. Like this," Cartman said back, he then skated over to the other side of the pond. He then skated, picked up speed and jumped. He spun in mid air and landed unevenly on the ice. He skated a little bit and slipped. He landed on his back. The other boys burst out laughing, the laughed so hard they slipped on their backs too.

"Ha ha, you guys." Cartman laughed as he got up, the other boys got up too. Cartman looked around the area, scanning for anyone else watching.

"Hey, where are all the girls?" Cartman asked,

"I thought you would know, I think they are at ballet dancing," Stan replied.

"Ballet dancing?" Kenny repeated, he scratched his head. "What's that?"

"That's dancing with classical music and you have to wear dresses," Kyle explained,

"Bah," Cartman spat, "It's just a bunch of gay dancing. It's even gayer if boys do ballet,"

"Did you know anyone that had done ballet before?" said Stan. Everyone shook their heads.

"Well, you'd never see me doing ballet," Kenny said,

"Me too," the others added. It fell silent for a few minutes. They skated for a few more hours until the sky was orange.

"Well, I have to go now," Kyle said looking up at the sky, "I've got relatives at my place from Minnesota staying here for the weekend,"

"Yeah I've gotta go to," Cartman said, "See ya guys," The gang said there goodbyes and went home.

Stan got home ten minutes later. As he opened the door, he noticed a letter lying at the welcome mat. He picked it up. It was addressed to him. Stan opened it and read the letter.

_Dear Stan__ley_

_You have been accepted to take part in Ballet classes at the South Park community centre in South Park, Colorado. You will attend next week on Saturday at 9am. You will need a white leotard and dance trousers. Hope you can make it there,_

_Yours sincerely_

_The official Ballet Federation of Colorado (OBFC)_

Stan read it over and over.

"Is this a fing joke?!" He cried. Sadly for Stan though, this wasn't a joke

**Do you like it? Rate it, flame it, fav it, your choice.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yes I have updated once again. Sorry this update took a bit longer tha****n expected. I was in depression as**** Scotland didn't make it to the Euro 2008. But I know most of you wouldn't understand so I think I'****ll shut up about that**

**This chapter took me a bit of thought, I needed to remember what ballet was like again, I took it for 7 years and I remember a boy that was in my class. So that got me started. The rest then came into my mind like bullets! So please enjoy the new chapter**

That night, the Marsh family were having dinner at the table. They were having sausages, mash potatoes and vegetables. Stan wasn't eating his food; he was in deep thought about the letter. He was too busy thinking about it that He didn't notice that his sister was trying to talk to him. Or in this case, order him.

"HEY TURD! CAN YOU PASS OVER THE SALT!" Shelley shouted, snapping Stan out of his thoughts. He quickly passed the salt to her and went back to thinking. He played about with his mashed potatoes, making a little house.

"Stan, is something the matter?" His mum asked him. She put her hand on his shoulder. Sharon was always looking out for her children and apparently she is the hottest mum in South Park.

"Nothings wrong, except I got this weird letter in the mail today," He replied.

"Oh," She questioned, "What was it about?" Stan rummaged around in his pocket and passed the letter to his mum. She began to read it, her face dropped.

"Ballet? Since when did you sign up for ballet?" She asked him.

"I didn't. I don't even like ballet," Stan protested.

"Then how come you got this letter then," She said. Randy looked up at the two. He gulped.

"I think it was me," He said softly, butting into the conversation. Sharon and Stan stared at him.

"How?" asked Sharon,

"Well, when we were drinking last night, we went into town afterwards and I might've signed you up for ballet..." Randy began to trail off. Stan looked at him in disbelief.

"Wha...what?" He stammered, "How could you," He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking down.

"Well, maybe this might be good for you Stan, you might enjoy it." Sharon said,

"Are you kidding?" Stan cried, looking up, "If my friends find out, they will be making fun of me till the 9th grade." He leaned upwards, looking straight into his mums eyes.

"Then they're not really your friends then," She said back, "Besides, me and Randy have just booked morning classes on painting at the South Park learning centre. So you'll have to spend your Saturdays with Shelley." Stan slumped back into his seat. Shelly stared at her mum too. She had been listening into the conversation too. Stan looked to Shelly, he knew straight away that she wasn't too happy about it as well and would probably beat the living daylights out of him. And that was on a good day.

"Mum," said Shelley leaning on the table, "No way am I going to spend my whole Saturday with HIM." Her speech was slurred because of her braces. All went quiet at the table.

"No," Stan said calmly, "I'll go," Everyone looked at him. Shelley leaned back sighing. His dad looked at him.

"Are you sure?" He asked, Stan nodded. The family then resumed eating their meal.

"Anything's better than staying with Shelly," Stan muttered under his breath.

The next Saturday, Stan woke up dreading of what was about to happen to him. He stared at the ceiling for ten minutes and decided to get up. He got ready and packed his backpack. His mum got him everything he needed during the week. He put his bag on and went downstairs. His parents were already at their classes. Shelly was sitting on the couch watching TV. As Stan passed her, he heard her snigger at him.

"Have fun dancing, Turd." She said sarcastically. Stan sighed. He made it out the door and across to the community centre without anyone noticing. He entered the building. As he entered, he could hear classical music playing in one of the rooms. He headed for the room and went in.

There, he saw a few girls from a grade class younger and older than him. He saw a few girls from his class too. He recognised Wendy and Heidi, who both giggled as he entered the room. The two were both in leotards and tutus. There was a woman wearing a leotard and legwarmers.

"So, you must be Stan then," The woman asked him. Stan nodded. He saw all the girls whisper to each other. His face went bright red.

"Don't be embarrassed," she said, "There's another boy from your class here too," Stan looked up at her.

"Another boy?" he repeated.

"Hey Stan," The boy called out. He turned his head to the blond haired boy walking towards them.

"Butters," he said. Butters was wearing a white leotard, gray dancing trousers and ballet shoes. He went up to him.

"Are you doing ballet too?" he asked.

"Yes," Stan muttered. Butters smiled at him with his brown eyes. Butters was always sweet to everyone, even those who were mean to him, especially Cartman.

"Why don't you get changed and Ill show you some beginner moves." The woman suggested, "Oh, and by the way. I'm Ms Carson."

"O.K," Stan replied, he went into the toilets and into one of the cubicles. He took out his dance trousers and leotard out and then put them on. He attempted to tie the laces on the ballet shoes, but then stuffed them into the gap of the shoe. Stan came out of the cubical and looked in the mirror.

"I look so gay," He muttered and went out the toilet.

**Do you like it? Please comment about it. ****Criticism**** is allowed.**


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